The hidden beauty next to me must have so many hidden secrets. Always it lingers in the back of my mind what happens behind curtains. What happens beyond my control? Where I have no place? I always wonder. I'm always bothering. It is only natural to admire such individualistic beauty. Oh no, this is not for me, I know. Pain is a filter through which we all come to face in some way or another. Simplistic, yet hovering. It hovers over our heads every single second, and we could spend our lives pondering it. When the end truly comes, when the world ends and our lives end, will the sun shine regardless? Does it really affect anything? Perhaps it's nilhistic,but I can't help to have every single human thought rush to my head when you bask in some sadness that I have no place in. That should not affect me, yet does.

Time and time again you've appeared. Things have appeared. There is somewhere I should be, but I find it hard to care. Can it be that control has finally been taken over the mind? It can never be determined. Everything is so scrambled this year, this day. Whether it has any significance or not mortifies me. This all is so much. This all is blood flowing through us and ensuring every single moment goes to plan.

Yet I am still afraid.